Following a rough and tumble year in the banking industry, Belial Bank’s feckless fearless leader, B.L. Zebub, believes it is high time to bring some levity and loyalty to the lowly troops who have been tirelessly foreclosing all the Beleaguered Borrowers they may have missed the first and second time around. Mostly, however, B.L. is concerned about the reputational damage his bank has suffered this year. Once known as the largest bank in America as measured by hubris, it is at risk of losing this mantle of distinction. On the Chinese calendar, 2012 has been Belial Bank’s Year of the Rat.
B.L. is hoping against hope to instill a sense of pride among the rank and file; he knows that his company’s promise to the feds to install a “single point of contact” [or “SPOC”] for every borrower seeking help, has become a sham. Problem is, after a couple of weeks on the job, the SPOCs either quit, get fired, or leave to take more respectable jobs in the collection and repo industries. And then there was the public relations nightmare Belial Bank suffered after it was disclosed to the press that the top brass were giving prizes to supervisors who could run up the highest number of SPOCs for a single borrower in the shortest amount of time. Last week’s big winner, Art O. DeLay, won a hundred crisp dollar bills and the afternoon off to visit The Devil’s Den Gentlemen’s Club, conveniently located just down the street from Belial’s headquarters. [Cover charge waived.] Continue reading “Belial Bank’s 2012 Holiday Planning Meeting”